Saturday, April 11, 2009

Saturday Fucking Night Live

Zing Zam Zoom! Jetted over to NYC to catch my bro Efron hosting SNL tonight with some faggy musical guest called the Yeah Yeah I Don't Give A Flying Fucks. I. Don't. Anyways, as you probably guessed, I have with me as always my partner in crime, D-Bag. We are in a limo right on our way to have dinner and drinks at the Le Bernadin (you most likely can't afford to eat here), and hopefully pick up some of that high class married pussy. My favorite kind. My. Favorite. Fucking. Kind. Well, this update is nice and short, I'm typing this entry via my Blackberry/iPhone/Bluetooth or whatever the fuck this thing is, I have so many I can't keep track. Be back in LA no later than noon tomorrow, don't ask me how. I'm celebrating Easter with D-Bag and Jessica Stroup (google her). It's more of a business affair, she's looking into getting some work done, and I wouldn't mind fucking her. Met her at a premiere, she invites me to Easter dinner, what a lady. I ask if I can bring a guest. Sure she thinks I'm showing up with a forgettable whore, little does she know my guest is Don-motherfucking-Cheadle! Be sure to check back in a week or two, going to visit Don on the set of Iron Man 2!!! It's going to be a fucking blast!


Oh right right!!! Wait, Don won't let me log out without telling this story. Quicky. Fucking Quicky. Last night, we are blowing lines at some I don't give a fuck's house and all the sudden that song comes on that goes "I can see clearly now the rain is gone" blah blah sappy bullshit. So Don lays out this humongous line of coke, I mean it's the line to end them all... right as the the chorus of this shit song comes up he snorts the whole fucking thing then jumps on the table and sings "I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW THE COKE IS GONE!" Fucking hilarious. Fucking. Hilarious.

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